Tips on how to argue properly

It is quite normal for people in a relationship to argue as it keeps the relationship lively. However it is important that you know how to argue properly and not let things go out of control.

First and foremost, you should know how to pick your fight.

No point arguing about things your partner cannot change like their snoring or their relationship with their family.  These arguments are not productive, and may end up your losing each other as constant arguing on these topics can just lead to that.

Find out what triggers your argument. Money is the most common reasons for couples to argue; however there are some who argue just because there's mud on the carpet. While there's no point in arguing about trivial matters, if you regularly argue about money matters, its better to sit down and produce a manageable budget.

Choose words wisely

Always choose your words wisely while arguing as once spoken, these words cannot be taken back. So don't say things you will repent like personal insults. This does not help things; but only worsens it as personal remarks are not easily forgotten, and can lead to long term damage.

Stay focused in the argument as the only reason you are arguing for is to resolve an issue. If you go off the topic and start listing your partner's faults, nothing is resolved. At the most, it leads to tit tat fighting and creates bitterness in the relationship.

Walk away

Never drag past mistakes into fresh arguments. Women have a tendency to do this, which achieves nothing.

If you feel your anger seething inside, and you get so angry that you may say something you will regret, just walk away to calm down. Though this requires practice, it is better than letting your anger go out of control. However, never ignore your partner and walk away from the argument as this only makes your partner feel ignored and adds fuel to the argument.

Lastly, apologize for anything wrong you may have said in anger. Though your partner may apologize for starting the fight, you should also say sorry if your partner was right in the first place. At the end of the argument, you should both always reach an amicable understanding, kiss and make up.


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