Personality Executive, Jailer or Change Agent II

From a manager’s point of view, an insight into your own personality executive and those of other people at work can be very useful in deciding on

an approach when you need to get approval for something or get something done. This should be done, not from an intent to manipulate, but to reduce friction, although there may seem to be hair-splitting to others observing you.

However, the difference is that you should know when this is appropriate, and it should not be done purely as a game or for personal advantage but for very good reasons. When it is not appropriate, which would be most of the time, you should leave your adult in charge.

You should be alert for those who try to manipulate you into agreeing to something which is not a in your best interests by pressing your buttons or otherwise appealing to your sympathy. Beggars are often expert at making you feel sorry for them, but this is just a game to many people. One thing to be careful of is to become so aware of this that you don’t behave naturally. If your personality executive is the Adult-Ego then this won’t happen.

An implication of this discussion is that you can actually choose which your dominant personality executive is. As many people already deliberately use the Parent-Ego for effect, it seems that it is a choice. If you don’t deliberately choose it, it will simply be a reflection of your predominant attitude.

By persistently choosing to adopt an Adult approach, it should be possible to make this a habit, and to change for the better, if necessary. However, there will still be a tendency to revert to old=established behavior patterns in a crisis, because this is when you are least likely to think about what you are doing.

If you find this happening, you need to get hold of yourself. Default behavior is to allow you to go thru life in a state of mindlessness (and I don’t mean that mindless state associated with meditation) and you are hopefully beyond that stage.

(continued from part I)

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