The objective of Transactional Analysis is to encourage people to operate from the integrated Adult-Ego state as much as possible. In this state
you are free from any contamination by the prejudices and domineering behavior of the adult and also free from attachments and dislikes of the child.
Interestingly, this concept of being free from attachments and desires is also the ultimate aim of many spiritual masters, especially those deriving from Hinduism. Claude Steiner, a well-known TA therapist with a PhD and some TA books to his credit, has stated that he found meditation to be very beneficial in helping him to operate from the adult ego state. We would hope that his training would have put him close to the ideal state any way. But it would seem that some esoteric practices are being validated by experience.
This attitude of detachment and unemotional acceptance is also that which is fostered by accepting that everything that happens does so ffor a purpose. That nothing happens that does not have some good emanating from it. Even the tsunami in Thailand created work and improved the crops.
So if something happens that does not suit you, simply accept it and deal with it, don’t take it as a personal affront. You can't change it. Both these routes pointto the same conclusion, and this would reinforce its validity. It has been said that there are three paths that lead to the truth: scientific investigation, experience and spirituality. All three of these paths should lead to the same conclusion, as is the case here.
You can be excused for wondering what possible importance this can have for a manager. But in fact, if you are able to be free of emotional pressures when you need to make critical decisions and can face unpleasant facts squarely, you will improve the quality of your decisions.
If one of your subordinates who is handling a difficult customer can avoid emotional involvement in the situation, but see it as an interesting challenge, then they are much more likely to reach an acceptable agreement. Customers with grievances have often had people try to fob them off; the fact that a representative of the company is prepared to apologize and accept the situation while seeking for an accommodation which will satisfy both parties, may often be enough to defuse tensions.
Of course, you always do get some bloody-minded people determined to be difficult for their own ego reasons, but reacting emotionally to them doesn’t improve the situation, either. Operating from an integrated adult standpoint is the best hope of reaching agreement.