Origin of Retreat
- Parent Category: Persönlich Wachsen
- Category: Self-Coaching
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Retreat or withdrawal is one of the 6 states in time structuring in Transactional Analysis. This does not refer to periods of sleep, but is a waking state.
Retreat is a very valid and useful state. Every person has times when they feel overwhelmed and need to “get away from it all”. Holidays are meant to cater for this need, but can often be just as stressful and full of different pressures.
A true retreat would allow one to be alone to consider and resolve troublesome issues. This is a strong need and can cause stress illnesses and “burn out”, if not satisfied.
The need to withdraw temporarily may often be interpreted as a loss of interest by a marriage partner and can be troublesome if not understood and respected. It can be take very simple forms, such as a nice, long, hot bath with lots of foam – a favourite of many women. In men it may be referred to the need to “retreat into the cave”. Or perhaps a long walk to look at the sunset would provide temporary respite... Even just stopping for a moment to consider a beautiful view has a relaxing, stress-relieving effect.
The essence of a true retreat is that the pressures of giving and receiving or anticipating strokes are not present. Such pressures are the some of the primary drivers of stress.
This need can become pathological if not sufficiently met in everyday life, such as with teenage runaways or those who shun human contact. There may be a psychotic breakdown or a schizoid personality may develop... In childhood there is a conflict between the need for withdrawal and the child’s dependence on others. A schizoid personality may develop, where massive withdrawal, instead of being a simple temporary measure of retrieve, becomes a continuous way of life. Or a person may appear to be withdrawn or undemonstrative or overly submissive. Death may represent the ultimate withdrawal for some. Alcoholism or becoming a homeless person are also forms of withdrawal. The problem is that it may be difficult to recover from such drastic withdrawals, especially when the choice was death.
It is important to respect the desire of others and yourself for a “quiet time”, free of emotional pressures. But be alert to signs that this need may be becoming problematic. Allow sufficient for this need to be met. One also needs to recognize that there are periods when pressures may be becoming overwhelming and should encourage temporary retreat as a means of relief.
