The Influence of Parent-Ego-State
- Parent Category: Persönlich Wachsen
- Category: Self-Coaching
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Every child who has had the privilege of being brought by a parent or a guardian holds them in reverence.
This is because the child depends on the parent or guardian for all the basic needs such clothing, eating, shelter and protection. This happens because kids have limited ability to understand their environment and make decisions. As result they view the environment they live in the perspective of the significant others who in most cases are parents, guardians and older siblings.
Over time kids copy what they see and hear from those around them and use it as a benchmark for their future reference. The concept of copying the parents or significant others way of doing things by kids is referred to as parent ego state.
Parent ego state helps the kids form an opinion about the world, adopt the rules and regulations and forms the basis of their relationships with the society. In other words the significant others offers a template in which kids will live by in their adult life. The information that parents pass on to their children is often taken wholesale without a second thought. As such parents need to be careful in whatever they say or do in front of their children as this invariably determines the choices a child makes in life. For example a child who is encouraged to work hard at school despite being poor academically has better chances of making it in other spheres of life like athletics just because he or she has been taught to be self confident. On the other hard a child who is being scorned at for not doing well in school will most certainly fail in life because he or she beliefs that the parent’s opinion is final .
It is important for parents to instill positive thinking in children earlier on life as this helps mold them in adult life. In most cases it becomes hard to discard the habits learnt from parents and this may lead psychological problems that may haunt an individual in future. For instance a child who has been brought up in an abusive marriage is likely to experience the same in his or her marriage or vow never to get married because he or she might think that all a marriages are like that.
As an adult one may realize that some things learnt from the parents are no longer worth living by and therefore break away from the influence of the parent ego state. This happens when one develops an independent mind and decides chart his or her own way of life.
However, the importance and influence of parent ego state cannot be underestimated as it influences ones thinking and conduct; it is a source of internalization of parent figures.
