Constant Child - Ego I

A child by definition is a constant child-ego until they begin to imitate parents internally. The natural child state can be fun, a bundle of energy and

creativity. Adults can choose to remain in their child-ego state in the mistaken belief that this is the only way to enjoy life. The constant Child-Ego in adults involves deliberately suppressing the parent-ego and the adult-ego.

Child ego-state decisions are sometimes immediate and often impulsive. The parent-ego makes decisions upon past experience or “what would my parents have done?” When the person wants to do something and the parent-ego would say no, one solution is to look at the situation as a rational adult – the adult-ego.

Yet the answer from the adult-ego self may also be “no”, or more often “not yet, how do we plan to make this possible?” If the person has never matured past the parent-ego state, the only options are to follow the parent-ego’s critical refrain or choose to remain in the child-ego constantly.

What are some of the psychological reasons someone would choose to remain in a constant child-ego? And what is the psychological impact of those choices? 

•    The critical parent is controlling, authoritarian and sometimes abusive. When the parent-ego is highly critical and that inner voice causes the person to demean themselves, retreating to a constant Child-Ego can provide a type of protection. The complying child is obedient, dependent and withdrawn, but is able to avoid responsibility and thus criticism for an incorrect mistake.

The adult who remains in a complying child-ego state may fall into a relationship where the “parent” controls everything. They give up their freedom but choose to remain in an “I’m not OK – you’re OK” state according to transactional analysis positions.

•    The rebellious child is angry, constantly fearful, violating the parent’s rules and thus guilty. When the individual as an adult chooses a rebellious child-ego state, they are in a constant state of rebellion against parental authority figures in their life.


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